Settle Something, Please

I need adjudication

There’s a great How I Met Your Mother episode where Ted takes his architecture class on a tour of some local buildings to try to make them think he’s cool. Barney tags along to hit on college chicks. Classic.

So they get to talking, and they get into a debate, and they realize that the tour is an excellent focus group! They can crowd source answers to their problems, finally ending ages-long debates about topics ranging from whether Ted is a good teacher to whether it’s creepy to date your therapist.

Today, this is the same energy I need from all of you. I am about to present two questions of utmost import. They are not trick questions. Help me find the correct answer once and for all.

Again, thank you sincerely for your attention to this critical matter. As my cherished readership, your collective brainpower is all I can rely on to carry me through these dark times.

P.S. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend checking out Monday’s The Daily Show. Jon Stewart interviewing an anti-Semitic Elmo is the funniest thing I have seen in a very long time. Definitely had shades of the classic “Elmo’s World - Behind the Scenes.”